“When the cows are sitting down, that means it’s about to rain.”—The lady next to my sister on our plane to Dublin
The drive from Cashel to Dunmanway was about 2.5 hours long where I actually wait for it…FINISHED MY SUMMER READING BOOK! Granted, I managed to transform a southern dialect rich book into one where the characters rotated Scottish, Irish, British, Jamaican, and southern dialects out. And when we arrived to our home for the next five days called Sam Maguire Cottages, my sister “treated me” to having the single bed room(with bathroom; this was important later on) all by myself.
With an empty kitchen and a family tired of eating out, we planned on hitting the city to go grocery shopping. Normally, my Mom gives me about a ten minute heads up before she goes to the store but since she was following the lead of her sister and husband, they left without warning. I saw them leave. I sprinted as far as my lungs would let me sprint and eventually gave up so flipped them off to release some frustration and turned around.
Let’s just say my sprinting didn’t go unnoticed as I hopped in the car.
It’s almost embarrassing how quickly my Mom got fed up with me picking something up and reading the ingredients elated to realize that there wasn’t processed crap in anything. All the junk food I tend to avoid in the US? Not so crappy anymore AND THERE WAS A SELECTION OF STUFF UNHEARD OF!
I wanted to try everything but much to my dismay, I was limited to a few things beyond some basics even then I had a hard time deciding what to pick out.
Bread that came in a paper bag.
Just to name a few. Even my Celiac Aunt had about half an isle just filled with gluten-free goodies.
And when I saw some stuff called “Cuisine De France”, I nearly lost my shit. Our cashier on the other hand, did lose his shit from being overwhelmed by so many groceries from one cart—he ended up having to take a few seconds to catch his breath about halfway through.
Grand total paid on groceries: ~140€
American style shopping ladies and gentlemen.
They ended up putting our groceries in cardboard boxes goods came in as they handed us a bag of fun-sized candy for spending over 100€. By the looks on the grociers faces, not many people spend anywhere near that amount in one trip.
Later that night, my grandfather insisted on going to dinner at a place owned by a distant relatives’ niece or something so eleven of us packed into a minivan like sardines.
Now if you’ve never ridden on a fold-out bench in the way back of a minivan down a one-way road in Ireland, you’re missing out. The whole twenty minute drive was bumpy and scary until the large Jamaican man driving the car acted like a pissy female flight attendant.
From the moment I walked into the place, I was feeling strange vibes resonating but kept this to myself and my occasionally paranoid nature.
The wait for the food felt a bit long. Whatever…they’re probably just busy and besides, we’re a large group. Might as well joke about getting my hair, makeup, and nails done at Betsys as it’s right across the street.
The bathroom/area located outside the bathroom seemed a bit sketchy. Oh; whatever, I’m just used to the US.
I just shrugged everything off as I tried enjoying my meal of roasted veggie and feta spring rolls with a side salad and fries.
BEHOLD! The face of food poisoning:
Lucky for me, it didn’t hit as quickly as it did for my father and brother who got sick within minutes of arriving back to the cottages. So I went on a walk around the complex.
And true to European nature(as I learned), this is what the sky looked like around quarter to ten at night:
When I got back to the cottage, I felt this gross oily stomach acid sort of feeling but ignored it and went to bed. I ended up waking up not even four hours later feeling so nauseous and dizzy, all I could do was barely stumble up to turn on the bathroom light and sit up in bed. An hour passed until I managed to “taste my dinner for a second time“.
“Hey Dad…add me to the sick list.”, I mumbled as I grabbed a glass of water in efforts to wash the taste of puke out of my mouth. It failed.
8/11 of those who ate at the restaurant were sick so I spent the day unlocking everything in Fruit Ninja, becoming somewhat decent at Angry Birds, and a good deal of time in the bathroom. Food poisioning on vacation sucks.
I considered myself lucky though as I felt fine not even five hours after first stomach eruption. The lucky three who didn’t get sick(out of the eleven) went to the Festival the town was having where they discovered my aunt won a bunch of prizes for her art and I won 3rd place for a picture of my cat yawning.
“Hey, remember how much fun we had getting food poisoning in the middle of Irish no where?”-No one.